The Benefits of the Doubt

today i reached a   limit where i feel tired of giving people the benefits of the doubt on whatever they told me. Sometimes i know they lying but i still told myself that i will give them another chance and maybe believe they have their own reason of telling me what they told me.  but today i feel upset and angry at the same time. i feel like a stupid girl who believe that people will change and things will get better. i start questioning everything and feel how unfair life can be.

still keep the anger in my heart, i heard a voice in my head and my heart. HE told me, who am i to giving up and feel upset about giving people the benefits of the doubt when HE always give the benefits of the doubt and never tired of it. HE always believe that one day i will change. HE always understand every action that i took and still giving me the chance coz he believe in me. there is always a room for improvement in me. HE never give up on me. so why did i give up on other people when me myself is not perfect. Am i any greater than HIM?

on that sudden my tears fall... i felt so small. i am ashamed of myself. how can i be so ungrateful. what have i become? i'm shaking just to think about it..
Astagfirullah...