'For you, a thousand times over'

One of my favorite movie so far.. 'The Kite Runner'..

Everything in one movie.. friendship, family, love, pride, bravery, shame, regret, patriotism, tears, and many more..

'For you, a thousand times over' is the phrase when everything start..

Its the last phrase before friendship between Hassan and Amir start to end and its the starting phrase for Sohrab's life..

This is a must watch movie..

p/s: reading the book will be my mission now...;)

Wake up call!!!

last sunday i had my 1st floorball training for this sem.. just imagine, almost more than 1 months without proper training and i did not exercise at all, i pancit like 15 minutes after we start training.. but still can bertahan... hahaha... but seriously, i need to exercise.. maybe jogging or play other sports.. need to make it weekly so that during training i will not pancit so fast.. haih... another problem, i dun know whether its my shoe or what but the court is slippery... should i invest in new pair of shoe?? i dun think so... hahaha btw, this semester floorball training will be at kompleks belia, every sunday, 8pm to 10pm..

Last sunday really a wake up call for me to start exercising and build my stamina.. all the best to me!!! hahaha

last sunday also a wake up call for me that i'm no longer in floorball family mood.. i always feel like an outsider when i'm with them.. being the only muslim there really put me in the tough position.. i dun feel confortable when they need to consider about me everytime they wanna decide about where to eat.. hmmm.. i really dunno how to react on this issues.. all i can say that i'm sorry in my heart... i'm not sure how they feel about it...

p/s: my stick will have new grip..woohoo!!! thanks to jeck..;)

My 1st resignation letter

i just send may 1st resignation letter.. i dun know how should i feel about it..
i'm not happy and i'm not sad also.. i just dun feel anything.. it's like, this is the thing that i suppose to do.. there r few reasons why i resign..

1st: i joined the club for the wrong reason..
2nd: i can't work with people in that club anymore.. i have this feeling since last semester but at least last semester elly ( my friend) still here..
3rd: i just feel it's time for me to quit before i commit more sin hating people..

this might not be the best decision or people may think that i act rather childish on this issue, but i feel this is something that need to be done. chemistry with people that we are working with is very important. there is no point of working with somebody that we can' t stand.. because, joining club is about having fun, learn new things, make more friends, and gain a lot of knowledge and experience.. and i dun think that is what i get in this club..

so yea, i made my decision..

My opening song for 2009

Unwritten
by Natasha Bedingfield

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh
I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Goodbye 2008... Welcome 2009

Selamat Tahun Baru 2009!!!

malam ni merupakan malam terakhir 2008.. banyak pengalaman dan memori suka dan duka yang telah dilalui dalam masa setahun ni.. kalau nak cerita balik apa yang berlaku sepanjang tahun ni memang panjang dan ada sesetengah tu dah tak ingat dah.. tapi apa yang penting, pengalaman berada di USM bersama dgn kawan2 merupakan salah satu pengalaman yang paling berharga. banyak suka duka yang dilalui.. mcm mana kita orang selalu kena tido lambat sebab assignment tak siap lagi, biasalah kan, suka buat kerja last minit.. hahaha.. then bila dah nak final barulah nak study macam nak pecah kepala otak then masa tulah perasaan menyesal sbb tak belajar dari awal tu datang.. then kita pun berjanji kat diri sendiri yang sem depan tak nak jadi macam tu lagi tapi bila sem depan datang, kita masih orang yang sama..hahaha..


2008 juga banyak mengajar ku untuk lebih mengenal siapa diriku yang sebenar dan orang2 yang berada disekelilingku.. bukan mudah untuk menjadi diri sendiri setiap masa kerana tak semua orang boleh terima kita seadanya.. dan jangan sangka kita dah cukup mengenali seseorang tu hanya kerana kita sekelas atau sering melakukan banyak perkara bersama... kadang2 orang yang kita sangka kita kenal tulah ialah org yang paling kita tak kenal (diri sendiri).... apa yang penting untuk diingat ialah kawan sebenar akan terima kita seadanya.. dan apa yang lebih penting ialah kita terima diri kita seadanya.. bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada dan sentiasa berusaha untuk berubah kepada kebaikan.. jangan sesekali kita tipu diri kita sendiri sebab bila kita menipu diri sendiri, kita sebenarnya sedang menipu Tuhan dan kita sedang merugikan diri kita sendiri.. dengan menipu diri sendiri kita tak akan hidup dalam realiti..

banyak perkara yang pertama kali berlaku dalam hidupku pada 2008.. ini menunjukkan betapa banyak nya benda kat dunia ni yang ku masih jahil.. haha... pertama kali aku ada study partner... mula2 masa dia minta tolong memang keberatan and malas.. sebab dah biasa study sendiri and aku bukan nya kenal dia pun..masa dia hantar sms tu merupakan kali pertama kitaorg actually berhubung..haha.. tapi dia ni sangat degil and persistent, so nak tak nak kena agree.. masa tu memang tawakal je dgn keputusan yang dibuat.. tapi mcm org slalu cakap, ada hikmah disebalik yang berlaku...aku selesa belajar dgn dia sebab dia prepare awal2 and dia serius masa belajar dan yang paling penting dia tak kedekut ilmu langsung... sebenarnya belajar dengan oppoite gender ni bagus sebab kita lebih serius dan lebih fokus kot ...hehehe.. and now, kitaorg dah jadi kawan where aku selesa untuk jadi diri sendiri..maybe x sepenuhnya..but selesa kawan dengan dia.. i'm glad that i made the decision to agree studying with him.. harap kitaorg akan jadi kawan utk jangka masa yang panjang..


tahun ni aku pertama kali juga berkongsi masalah keluarga ku dengan kawan..huhuhu..selalunya aku tak share dengan sesiapa pun.. perasaan berkongsi masalah merupakan satu perasaan baru dan susah nak cakap sama ada aku suka ke tak perasaan tu.. apa yang pasti, rasa lebih lega dapat keluarkan apa yang terbuku kat hati pada seseorang... rupanya, kalau aku merendah kan sikit egoku, tak bermakna aku lemah.. aku selalu takut orang fikir yang kalau kita kongsi masalah kita, kita akan nampak lemah.. well, biarlah apa orang nak kata pun... untuk hidup bahagia kat dunia ni kita tak boleh selalu memikirkan orang lain kan.. tapi jangan sampai tahap pentingkan diri sendiri dan degil dah lah... yang penting jangan menegakkan benang yang basah.. kalau dah salah tu, salah jugak..baik kita terima dan berubah.. mama selalu pesan, mengalah tak bermakna kita kalah.. hmmm.. smthg to think about.. dan baru aku sedar its good to have someone who we know will always be there for u, listening and help u go thru the hard time.. and knowing that i will do the same thing to that person, makes me happy..at least its a win-win situation.. i really dun like to be in one sided relationship even with friends, apatah lagi boyfriend.. it must always give and take..

tahun ni jugak aku sedar betapa tak seimbang nya hidupku.. selalu fikir akademik and career.. apa nak buat seterusnya, nak sambung master ke tak, nak ambik subjek apa, nak kerja kat mana, and etc... terlalu memikirkan semua benda ni sampai aku terlupa yang hidup bukan sekadar akademik dan career yang bagus semata2.. mungkin sebab aku dah tak nak tengok mama dan abah susah.. nak naik kan nama keluarga ku..nak buktikan kan semua orang yang ktorg pun boleh berjaya.. tapi tu semua tak akan menjamin yang aku akan hidup gembira akan datang.. aku kena mula seimbangkan hidupku.. kena mula fikirkan perkara2 lain sebelum terlambat.. i'm not getting any younger..hahaha.. kalau nak berjaya dalam semua bidang, kita kena seimbang sebab untuk mendapatkan sesuatu, kita kena korbankan sesuatu.. jadi jalan yang terbaik ialah keseimbangan sbb kita tak boleh dapat semua benda yang kita nak..

so untuk menyambut ketibaan tahun baru 2009 ni aku tak ade azam baru sbb setiap tahun punya azam tak pernah tercapai.. apa yang pasti, 2009 akan menjadi lebih mencabar dan dengan itu lebih banyak perkara baru yang akan dipelajari.. hargai setiap peluang yang ada, buat banyak kawan, kurangkan musuh, dan jangan berhenti belajar.. and hopefully akan dapat mengenali dengan lebih dalam siapa diriku yang sebenar dan akan jumpa seseorang yang terimaku seadanya dan yang penting menyayangiku.. seseorang yang aku boleh hormat dan percaya.. insyaAllah..

Aduiii!!!

HELP!!!!
i seriously need help..ever since i got home, i can't stop eating..aduiii...maybe because the food taste better at home compared to Penang... i dunno... i came back with one mission which is to learn how to cook but instead of learning, i watch my mum cooks then eat...ishh... and u know what happen when we din stop eating and not exercising...Yea, I'm FAT!!! i can feel it and i can see it.. i'm soooo need to start to control my eating habits and start exercising.. wish me luck!!

p/s: today my dad brought us to shoe shopping..hehe..i got a pair of heels, a pair of sandals and a slipper..muhahaha... thanks dad..love u ;)

hoping for the best!!!!

people say, we can't have everything in this world.. but each individual has different definition of everything..as for me, i just hoping for the best in my life.. i'm super scared to know my final exam results..huhuhu..but i did my best and i hope i'll get what i deserve... just waiting patiently here...haihhhh!! i'm scareddddd.... what if i din't get the result that i was hoping for?? my cgpa will drop..sighh...